Last week, I was supposed to be interviewing
, the brave soul behind FemmeHealth Ventures Alliance — an educational platform to help expose shit like the below screenshots (taken from Maryann’s Notes section). PLUS, give souls a way forward to start putting money into companies investing in Women and Women’s Health — even as non-accredited people like me.But if you are reading this…you know there is and has not been an interview.
Here’s why: I am experiencing an AuDHD burnout. Listen in to the audio for more…and I apologize…I might have just rambled for 7 mins…but think you will get a luagh or two out of it. But being that I don’t have a lot of energy…I’m not re-recording it ;-) or proofreading this…so apologies for the mess that it is and that I am…done is good enough for me right now. I’m not going away — just slowing way down and letting go of perfection!
BUT FIRST: Pause now to read the below screenshots then join me below to know what is going on and how this all ties together with the title and DP’s work. I promise it does…at least I hope it does!
OKAY SO YOU’RE IN BURNOUT. BUT WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH MALE ERECTIONS?
Everything.
Just like Maryann is preaching loud and clear.
And whether you are nuerospicey or not — we should ALL CARE about this.
Men get the majority of attention and investment dollars for their “problems” some of them experience when it comes to them having pleasure.
But when it comes to women’s life long health (cause our cycle isn’t just from puberty to menopause…our cycle and our life cycles are our report card for our health ) the funding, research and help is LACKING BEYOND COMPARE.
(Except I do wonder Maryann how much is being poured into male mental health and this ‘loneliness’ thang….is it seeing more money or also lacking in funding?)
WHAT DECONSTRUCTING PATRIARCHY SEASON ONE TEACHES ‘BOUT THIS?
IN EPISDOE 1, we learned that at the VERY start of Patrairchy some 6000 years ago, the System made “Male = norm” and “Women = not the norm, thus devian to the norm.”
In every single fucking faucet of life.
From the gender biases we face at work, the glass cliff effect (where women are promoted to distressed companies at higher rates then men), to the gender roles that encourage domestic and spiritual (male to female) abuse, to our sciences and medical industry.
I cannot stress this enough. And if you have been following my work for a while now — whenever you see Gender Inequality pop up…we should not be suprised.
Because it is the foundation of the how this system was built.
Anywho, I have spent the last four days reaching out to my women’s network, googling, getting on Reddit trying to find info for this specific thang:
Late Diagnosis AuDHD Burnout perimenopause.
What I have found?
Nada.
There is “plenty” on what a burnout and shutdown (a new term and thang I learned just these last days) is….and some light talk about how to actually manage the burnout and daily life beyond just “rest as much as possible”.
There is “plenty” on ADHD and how perimenopause hormone fluctuation affects this and makes perimenopause worse (I mean, really!?? Of course it fucking does…!!!)
There is a growing anecdotal amount of conversations and podcasts and such on Late Diagosis of neurospiciness in women ESPECIALLY in Perimenopause
(Which BTW for those too young to know or men who haven’t leared — perimenoapuse is the 5-10 or so years leading up to actual menopause. Menopause is actually just the DAY after one year of no bleeding. This doesn’t mark the end of peri/menopause symptoms though. Those can also continue for years after. The entire process from early cycle changes that lead into perimenopause to the end of menopause symptoms…well actually I have never heard a number of years for this….but am guessing more than 10 years of a woman’s life she is potentially SUFFERING greatly from symptoms that will also exhasberate other issues she might also have, such as nuerodivergences like AuDHD, Autism, ADHD, PD, (C)PTSD, etc.)
I have yet though to see anything from any scientific journal, women or men helping women deal with:
Exponentially decreasing energy and sensory limits due to perimenopause
How to monitor for this decreasing limit to avoid burnouts
How burnouts for AuDHD perimenopausal women might be different than other neurodivergent burnouts for other stages of life
How to actually effectively manage a burnout in this stage of life
I know this is in part due to the highly personalized nature neurospiciness is…and we each kind of have to find our way.
But being one that is constantly asking about that god-damn Patriarchal Lens the world is stuck looking at the rest of the world in, I have to ask:
“And what does that lens of Patriarchy due to limit research, innovation and help in this situation? What does the baked in inequality truly mean for women at this stage of our lives…and to our society at large? What will it take to turn the tides and for women to get the help they need and deserve?”
Becuase while men get to continue to have errections as they age, get their help paid for by insurance and get the message their health is a human right…
…Women are:
Burning out at increasing numbers (see below)
Are told we have to pay for our health out-of-pocket,
Are LITERALLY not seen the same by the reimbursement of health insurance companies —
And get the message loud and clear that our bodies and our health are political soap boxes — not human rights.
My last guest,
(her replay coming out sometime this summer), timely released this piece which I will directly quote here:According to a 2024 Deloitte survey, nearly half (46%) of women say they feel burned out, and 1 in 3 are actively considering leaving their jobs. This is especially pronounced among women in senior leadership roles, where the pressure to “have it all together” is constant and support systems are often lacking.
Women in “senior leadership roles” will be in either peri- or menopause years.
We HAVE to draw this line for these researchers here…
…to help them understand it is not that we aren’t ambitious or tired of “doing it all” (though that is part of it)…
…but IT IS THAT THE SYSTEM IS FUCKING BROKEN WHEN:
— Men in senior leadership roles get to have errections as the pirority
— While women in the same age brackets are physcially breaking down and thus labeled “unmotivated, unwilling, unable” to do what a man does…
— Becuase physcially SHE AIN’T BEEN INVESTED IN TO GET THE HELP SHE NEEDS to not breakdown…let alone have a big O and find pleasure.
To boot: our system is set up based on a Man’s clock (the patriarchal clock, because recall — men are the freaking norm!) not a woman’s monthly or life cycle.
(Read “Breaking Free from the Patriarchal 24-Hour Clock”)
WHAT THIS MEANS FOR ME & THIS BODY OF WORK?
Honestly, I am not sure yet.
I am not quiting. Not yet at least.
I know I want to continue to talk and shout about this work, this educaiton and expose more of this specific health issue for women.
I will just need to slow things waaay down and learn to internally be okay with that (you hear me ADHD!?!).
I am going to need some space and time to figure this out and see if I can parse out what my ever changing limits are.
Then try my best to honor them.
I know as of today, I am still in recovery. Supposedly the first part of recovery can take 3-6 months. The full recovery though can take up to 24 months. So I am being as realistic as possible — which for a former athlete/traithlete/group fitness instructor — well sigh sigh sigh.
Anywho, for now here is what I am thinking and hoping I can commit to on as "fluctuating basis” as possible.
Continued release of “The Sacred Tryst” yea! (I will get back to actually writing the rest! I have started Act 2 of 3. It is all mapped out, just need to write….then find an agent. Honestly — this might be my biggest priority…)
Interviews either here or on YouTube — but they might not be lives since that is more to cognitivelly and sensory load management.
I feel like an “in-between” season is coming out of this talking about Deconstructing AuDHD/Autism & ADHD in late stage diagnosis + perimenopause. Honestly this was on my list beore I started season 1 so feels right to turn to it.
Occassional posts as I feel my body and energy can…not as the moment or severity of the issue needs (eeks this is so hard for me?? and you?)
That’s all I have in me for now.
Toodaloo folks! Stay cool until next time.
Muah,
Holli
Share this post