I also had a deconversion experience. I agree that the isms are tied up in patriarchy. What I witnessed in evangelical churches was the trafficking in guilt to persuade individuals to distrust their intuition. I think this is particularly harmful for girls who need this instinct for protection and sometimes for protection against the teachings of said church. I continue to observe and experience that a confident, boundary setting women challenges the authority structure, particularly if the woman is supportive of other women.
dido. So so so much to say. I was thikning about how I think in my own story I didn’t draw a hard enough line between the teachings and and how it grooms us to accept abuse as “god’s will”….sigh
I love your point about saying the buck stops here with patriarchy for my family. I hope to become a parent someday and encourage my children to challenge the gender binary: patriarchy. I aim to have never-gendered children from day one starting with their names and baby announcement colors. I can see that your work does truly address a root problem in today’s society that’s corrupting everything it touches with its narrative that we can’t become a more sex-integrated society and that males and females are too different for our shared humanity to unify us. I can’t thank you enough for the work that you’re doing.
You just gave all of us new language for this issue that is clear and helpful and this is what I am talking about! That we fine tune our ideas with one another. I cannot take credit for the genderizing of culture being at the root of all this...that was Gerda Lerner's work that I am helping to amplify and make the connections. But I adore how you called it "sex-integrated society" and then pointed out that by not doing so is creating enemies out of females and males. Booya! Exactly...and why it is so vital we learn how to be a bridges instead. This is why I feel calling the next progression of our social structure "matriarchy" is not helpful. There are many fighting to reframe the idea of what "matriarchy" means -- and rightly so. However, I keep coming back to this idea that if women felt absent/invisible/erased from "patriarchy" then naming it "matriarchy" would do the same to men and other gender identities. So many thougths but will stop there. So thank you for saying it that way. Clear, clean and to the point.
Unexpectedly, not creating a matriarchy is a recurring theme even among the women denouncing patriarchy passionately as you do. I find that fascinating. And tbh I found inspiration in that while creating the neologism aldriarchy. It’s that idea of what I’ve call a sex-integrated society. I know there still can still be a stigma behind the word even when it’s not referring to the act, but as a nonbinary person myself I do like to practice not conflating gender (expression) and sex whenever possible.
Thanks Kathleen (love your name...was my mom's name). What did you you find particularly insightful, bubble bursting or challenging? Love to hear any thoughts on my thoughts -- all are welcome!
Holli, I had a deconversion experience myself. I agree that the isms are wrapped up in the patriarchy. My personal experience was that the Evangelical church trafficked in so much guilt to break down a person's intuition. Intuition is so important and one of nature's danger signals. Getting that back took some work. I have experienced and continue to observe that a confident, boundary setting woman who seeks to build up women rather than judge them threatens that status quo and those in power in the status quo.
Yes...I was one of them and just another reason probably i ended up leaving. Would love to hear more examples if you have them or feel comfortable enough to jump on a live and talk it through? I think the more we can speak out about this and document - the more women will start to "see themselves" for the first time maybe and feel confident to come "out" as well ;-)
I also had a deconversion experience. I agree that the isms are tied up in patriarchy. What I witnessed in evangelical churches was the trafficking in guilt to persuade individuals to distrust their intuition. I think this is particularly harmful for girls who need this instinct for protection and sometimes for protection against the teachings of said church. I continue to observe and experience that a confident, boundary setting women challenges the authority structure, particularly if the woman is supportive of other women.
dido. So so so much to say. I was thikning about how I think in my own story I didn’t draw a hard enough line between the teachings and and how it grooms us to accept abuse as “god’s will”….sigh
I love your point about saying the buck stops here with patriarchy for my family. I hope to become a parent someday and encourage my children to challenge the gender binary: patriarchy. I aim to have never-gendered children from day one starting with their names and baby announcement colors. I can see that your work does truly address a root problem in today’s society that’s corrupting everything it touches with its narrative that we can’t become a more sex-integrated society and that males and females are too different for our shared humanity to unify us. I can’t thank you enough for the work that you’re doing.
You just gave all of us new language for this issue that is clear and helpful and this is what I am talking about! That we fine tune our ideas with one another. I cannot take credit for the genderizing of culture being at the root of all this...that was Gerda Lerner's work that I am helping to amplify and make the connections. But I adore how you called it "sex-integrated society" and then pointed out that by not doing so is creating enemies out of females and males. Booya! Exactly...and why it is so vital we learn how to be a bridges instead. This is why I feel calling the next progression of our social structure "matriarchy" is not helpful. There are many fighting to reframe the idea of what "matriarchy" means -- and rightly so. However, I keep coming back to this idea that if women felt absent/invisible/erased from "patriarchy" then naming it "matriarchy" would do the same to men and other gender identities. So many thougths but will stop there. So thank you for saying it that way. Clear, clean and to the point.
Unexpectedly, not creating a matriarchy is a recurring theme even among the women denouncing patriarchy passionately as you do. I find that fascinating. And tbh I found inspiration in that while creating the neologism aldriarchy. It’s that idea of what I’ve call a sex-integrated society. I know there still can still be a stigma behind the word even when it’s not referring to the act, but as a nonbinary person myself I do like to practice not conflating gender (expression) and sex whenever possible.
Amazing work, Holli!
Thanks Kathleen (love your name...was my mom's name). What did you you find particularly insightful, bubble bursting or challenging? Love to hear any thoughts on my thoughts -- all are welcome!
Holli, I had a deconversion experience myself. I agree that the isms are wrapped up in the patriarchy. My personal experience was that the Evangelical church trafficked in so much guilt to break down a person's intuition. Intuition is so important and one of nature's danger signals. Getting that back took some work. I have experienced and continue to observe that a confident, boundary setting woman who seeks to build up women rather than judge them threatens that status quo and those in power in the status quo.
Yes...I was one of them and just another reason probably i ended up leaving. Would love to hear more examples if you have them or feel comfortable enough to jump on a live and talk it through? I think the more we can speak out about this and document - the more women will start to "see themselves" for the first time maybe and feel confident to come "out" as well ;-)